kunming log

On being cynical

I have avoided posting for the last few weeks out of fear that my posts may sound too cynical or negative. I probably surpassed experience overload quite a while ago, and my brain is starting to shut down....resist anything else. I realize that its going to take quite a long time for me to process what I have learned/seen/done in this very short period of time.

While lots has definitely happened in the last few weeks, including me working on a film about rural development which is premiering tomorrow, or me volunteering to teach street children at an outreach center beginning tomorrow, or me being sick for yet another time, or the independent research I have done on Yunnan tobacco, I want to focus this post on one of the best aspects of my experience here: meeting people.

As Larissa and I were at dinner tonight, I thought, damn if it weren't for this place I wouldn't have met any of the people at this table. We could have passed each other a million times and I would never had the opportunity to know them the way I know them now.

Yeah this stuff happens all the time whilst traveling. People are in a different state of mind. Especially when one comes from as dynamic a city as New York, where you can lose yourself, be alone in the crowd of a thousand, or (my favorite part) live multiple lives all at the same time. I've met tons of people while traveling. Some nice, some jerks, I'd some fun, never had my heartbroken, but I think my experiences here have been slightly different.

What I find the most overwhelming at being here is the feeling that I have to be "turned on" all the time. Meaning I can't be a cynical, negative bastard like I can in NYC. I have to be 'nice' and act like I care. Well, I probably always do care, but I like to pretend I don't...NYC allows me that much.

Anyway, my point. As difficult as its been at times, I am grateful to have come here and met the people I have met. I sincerely believe that I have met a good group of very positive people. I hope to stay in contact with a lot of them and hopefully see them again in the near or distant future.

It would be lame for me to say I changed because of my experiences here. Hell, maybe i have, but most likely I will return to NYC and go back to nearly the same life as I had before. Will I look back on my pictures/videos and cry? Doubtful.

What I will take away from this experience, and what will remind me of my time here most, is remembering the people I met. The people who passed through my life for a brief time or, in some lucky cases, a lifetime. In both cases, only time can tell how it all plays out.

posted by Aki @ 8:28 AM